Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
