I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
