roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
