About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
