Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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