How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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