Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
