so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
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note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
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Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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