Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just high enough for therapy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
