College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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