"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She bit a glass in half.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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