they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize