moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
