made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
is wine microwaveable?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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