You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
