Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
