I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
