You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
