you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
