I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize