Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
