my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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