if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
