google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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