that's an acceptable place to lick
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
