I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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