If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
