Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
