Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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