my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
