You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
