question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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