the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
