it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
