I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
