Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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