A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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