Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
