Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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