Are we in a gay sports bar?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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