Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
