I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
