my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
