it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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