happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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