I cannot find my penis.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
