I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
wow bdsm is so cute
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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