so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
