do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize