around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
