Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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