my phone cant type all the emotion im having
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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