Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
