I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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