The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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