I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
