my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
