Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
