His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
