I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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