does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
