why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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