so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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