So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
